Had an occipital nerve blocker procedure done this week. They stuck two needles in my head. Twice. It hurt so fucking bad. Like I was in tears bad. As of right now the pain feels worse. They said it would take 3-5 days to work. If it works that is. this is day 3, it's not looking hopeful yet. 

I had a dream the other night that Scott was offered a job this month, I hope that one comes true. Things are super tight and I can't take much more of my guilt over needing government assistance. I hate that we need the help. It killed me to walk into those places and ask. I'm starting to hate me.  I feel like everyone is judging us. Hell I judge us. Especially when/if they see our fairly new car and our iPhones (which are old 4's not the new one, FYI). But people are so quick to judge. I know because I used to do it. But people don't see how hard we struggle to pay the car payment and phone bills.  It's hard to make ends meet anymore and when his unemployment runs out at the end of the month we're beyond f'ed cause I don't get enough in disability to cover all the bills. We'll definitely lose phones, and if it weren't for his brother paying cable we'd lose that too. I'd be able to make car payments and credit card payments but not car insurance payments, and buy groceries (thanks to the help of wic and the food stamps I'm sure we'd get ). Oh but how would we get to the store? Well thankfully I'd have my mothers help, or else I'd be walking everyday. Maybe that's not a bad thing, I'd lose more weight. I wonder if we still have the old lady cart somewhere? Guess I better look. Makes carrying groceries home so much easier and then I could buy for two days instead of one. 

Oops pitty party over