I've had an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach lately, I'm praying so hard that it's nothing, but I'll prepare myself for the worst. Last time I had this feeling Maggie died and it still catches me by surprise how I can miss someone so much when in all honesty I barely knew the girl she was, I only knew the woman the cancer made her into, but maybe that's enough.
Grace is thriving and growing like a weed! She talks non-stop and everyone understands her, so that makes me proud. She asks to go to school anytime she hears the word (so its became a bad word in this house until September when she starts school :-)). She loves to play candy land and ants in the pants (and is also learning how to play operation - toy story version hehe.) She loves the outdoors and all things electronic. She plays on the computer, on the iPhones and the iPad better than some adults. She's so smart and remembers EVERYTHING! We took the fence around the computers down and now she has access to my laptop all the time. She's getting much better with the computer.
I've had to go back on my pain management meds because of some really bad pain, but at least I had 4 months pain free without the meds.
Scotts still working, and still at home so he doesn't miss a thing with Grace. Somedays I think he wishes he worked outside the house (the days were Grace is acting up quite a bit lol.)
Can I take a minute here and be brutally honest? Well of course I can because it's my blog and hell, I can say what I want. Don't like it? Then don't read it. I'm tired of tip toeing around and being nice when all I want to do is say what I'm feeling. So with that out of the way, I just want to say that with every pregnancy announcement and every baby born my heart aches and my empty womb screams. I try to put on a brave face and act all "I don't want another baby", but I do. I really, really do. I feel empty and hollow sometimes. It's an ache I can't quite conquer and I hate it.
Well I'm off to play with the princess for a bit. She is on the computer (again) and just asked for help. So I'm gonna do that, then take her to bed where I'll snuggle her tight and enjoy every moment.
Be well...
