Grace turned 9 recently and we are debating getting her a cell phone. Why? Because a lot of kids in this town have cell phones. I was really hoping to wait until middle school at least but I can't take her stealing my phone all day. And its my phone she keeps stealing and putting stupid crap games on. My phone is always full of crap. Although I will miss the selfies she takes hehe.
Its been 9 years (to the day) since my brain surgery, and I can honestly say that for every year that passes I feel a little better. I know the cancer isn't coming back but this day, for some reason, is a day of unease. Its not like the cancer is going to return, I'm too far out for that, but this date was tainted and brings back a lot of dreaded memories.
I've been feeling kind of yucky lately, like really exhausted, don't want to eat, and feeling weak and nauseous. I hate feeling like this. It takes time away from my family, but I did it to myself this time. I spent 4 days on the go, with lots going on so that I spent the second half of the week laying on my couch sleeping a lot. I have to remember to space my activities out better. But it's a new week, so here's hoping I start feeling better soon.
Scott had a phone interview on Thursday, but I feel none of the usual feelings I usually do. Usually I get excited at the prospect of a possibility and with this one I just feel meh about it. Not sure why, maybe because I got my hopes up with the last interview and then they chose someone else. And that was a real interview he went on. So I guess pray for good to come to my family, we need it.
We are stretched thin here, we owe money to lots of people and there is no end in sight. I keep praying that good things will happen, and that He'll help guide us so that we can find the good, but the longer he stays in this job the more we owe money and we just keep digging deeper. This job is depressing, he hates going there and the financial aspect of life is leaving me so stressed that its not good for me. Stress can start a flare up and my stress level is getting high. I hate owing people money, not being able to do more for my daughter, and not being able to take care of myself the right way. I want to be able to pamper myself, get my nails done, get a good hair cut and styled, but more importantly I want to be able to give my daughter a proper vacation. A real vacation to Disney maybe. I try to save money but then things happen, like car breaks down or something and there goes the savings. So for now, I'll keep dreaming of a real vacation.
Be well...
