Missing you...

I am missing someone so very much tonight.  She would have listened to my bitching and venting about the stupid things pregnant woman complain about, and how I am so tired of hearing them talk about how awful being pregnant is. Or listen to them complain that they cant have another kid cause they aren't having sex.  I had a whole rant that I unleashed on another friend of mine about the whole thing, and I swore I'd write the whole thing up here, but ya know what? My screen saver kicked on, and I was distracted by the beautiful pictures of my girl.  And then... then my breath caught in my throat and a tear trickled out my eye as a few pictures of Maggie scrolled by. Pictures of a healthy girl, the girl I never knew.  The girl I knew was more grown up, and very sick, but she was ready for anything.  In a conversation I had with her, I asked her about her plans for kids, her response sticks with me still "I figure there'll be plenty of time left, right now, I gotta finish kicking cancers ass." At the time she believed that statement with all her heart, that she'd win the fight.  I believed until the end that she would.  I wanted nothing more for my beautiful friend, and I was looking forward to all the heathly time we'd have together.  So why if I loved her so much, did she not tell me she was in the hospital? Why did no one tell me she had died? I don't have any answers, and I'm not sure I ever will in this life.  Love ya Mags, keep watching out for me girl.