Do you know that feeling, the one where you feel so low, and you just keep swimming, but it's getting harder and harder to keep your head above water level, and you keep trying to explain it to people, but they just keep describing the water?

I'm sinking, right back inside myself where I don't want to be. I keep trying to be different, I keep smiling, keep moving, but I can just feel myself turning into someone I don't want to be.

I need to get out, hang out with friends, forget who I really am deep inside. Which is truly a screwed up little girl afraid of her own shadow, and scared of being judged. I don't want to be that anymore, I just want to be happy.

I wish I could erase my past, forget the traumas that turned me into a messed up little girl. Erase my scars, never battle bipolar, and not experience things a 12 year old should never experience.

I need out of my head, if only for one day