Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Five years...

I miss all the little things, I never thought they'd mean so much to me.

The fudge he'd make, that was almost just too sweet, but that I could never tell him because he loved it so much.

The non stop singing that he'd do

The way he would come home from the grocery store and be so pleased with himself because he had bought me orange cheese and ibc root beer, my two favorite items.

His never missing plaid shirt.

His winter knit hat that ALWAYS left his hair a mess and made him look like the worlds biggest dork.

I find it's the small things that get me. Most of all, I miss how good he was with my Gracie.

I can't believe 5 years has already gone by, some days it seems so recent. This year my mom says it's harder on her, I wonder if my brothers feel it too, cause I was feeling the same way.

In a way, I'm glad he's not here to see my brothers being jackasses. 2 years of this shit with them and there's no signs of hope on the horizon. I can't even get them in the same damn room. I just want them to forgive each other, both sides said and did things, time to forgive and move on. New Year, new slate, time to start fresh.  I hope mom doesnt die before they mend things.

Medically things are stable for now, so there's that I guess. The cold is messing with me bad but im muddling through okay. Just a couple more months and it should be spring time.

Grace takes the bus home so I rarely get out. And don't poke fun when I say I miss the playground shenanigans. Can't wait for better weather so we can do park dates again.

Be well all