So looks like my first born will also be my last born, which makes her my only born. I will never again be pregnant, I will never feel the flutter of little movements in my belly, and I will never hear the precious sound of my baby's heartbeat over an ultrasound. All those firsts I looked forward to, thinking I'd get to see it at least once more and I learned I won't get to. I feel so robbed. If I had known this would be my only chance to experience all this I would have done it differently, better, and I would have marveled in the wonder of it all a bit more.
So that being said, I need to rant about it all as well. I swear if I hear "It could be worse" "At least you have Grace" or "You just never know" one more time I may loose it. Why can't I have just ONE day to mourn the loss of my dream? Why cant I have just ONE day to be sad about it? Why does everyone feel the need to try to say something to make it better? Ya know what, just say "that sucks" and let me get on with it in my own time.
Thats it for tonight, I'm done....
1 comment:
Bitch away. Regardless of the fact that you have a beautiful daughter, you're allowed to be mad at your situation, mad that you got shafted. From what I can tell from your FB and this blog, you've kept a pretty positive attitude throughout the whole ordeal. Not everyone can say they'd have been the same way.So honey, I'm sorry, and that sucks.
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