Its just emotions…

And they are all over the place lately.

I just don’t know how to let go of all that I had dreamed of, and wanted for my life and accept the new reality that is my life.  I am unbelievably angry over the fact that I feel so robbed of so much and yet, I have no say in it, or control over it.  I just don’t know how to accept what is my new reality.  I want my life back, I want my head to stop hurting, my joints to stop aching and I, in all honesty, want my hair back! I want to not feel so tired, and emotional, and just so sore! I hurt all the time, and I’m so tired all the time that I don’t know how to deal with it anymore.  How do I accept this new reality? How do I accept my new fate, and start to build new dreams?  I’m so lost and confused about all this and I have no one to really turn to.  None of my friends or family ever went through this, and I… *sigh* really need to find a doctor to talk to, and get meds from.  Ugh…

We had our family photos done on Sunday, and they came out so cute! I was so nervous cause Grace fell asleep on the couch about an hour before we had to leave, and surprisingly she slept through the diaper change and getting dressed, and the transition into the car, then OUT of the car and into the stroller. She only woke up in the lobby because some kid was crying (thankfully hehe). 

First set of professional photos and she did great! I’m so proud of her. 

Be well…