I went in to see my primary a few weeks ago for pain. This always intense, sometimes excruciating pain by the surgical site on my head. He felt around a bit and referred me to a specialist.

Scott got laid off Wednesday. And no I didn't get distracted from my story, this is part of it. After he was laid off I started freaking out, complete with flashbacks to the last time he got laid off just before I got sick. I was starting to fear my life was going to repeat.

Thursday I met with the specialist. She felt a lump and wanted to get an MRI done and it was scheduled for the 10th. She told me that I should schedule a visit with my oncologist for results, to up my lyrica and go back to her in 2-3 months for a follow up.

Friday I called Dr Crystal and spoke with him. He moved my MRI up a week and told me he'd call me right after he read the scan and let me know. He also said he expected it to be abnormal based on everything he heard and read.

Saturday I could barely sleep that night. I spent most of it watching Grace sleep. My greatest achievement, the best part of my life. I laid in bed watching her sleep, crying off and on. Then suddenly my mood changed. I hit my fuck you cancer mood. I went in for my MRI at 12 and spent the early part of my afternoon in a machine that made more noise than I thought my head could handle. I was waiting for my head to explode. It was the worst MRI of my life. And I won't even talk about them trying to get the IV in first.

That afternoon and evening were the LOOOONGEST hours of my life. I left my MRI at 130, and tried to patiently wait for the call, I really did. I distracted myself afternoon and evening. I cleaned, ate, watched a movie and read stories with Grace.

Finally at 445 I gave in and paged him. I just couldn't take the suspense any longer. And I'm happy to report, for those that didn't know about this drama until now, that I am still cancer free! Moving onward and getting closer to the 3 year mark.

So with that being said, be well all.