I wont lie, it was a couple days before the darkness fully went away. But thanks to spending a day with my mom delivering Avon, that helped start driving the darkness away, then a wonderful daughter and husband who make me laugh so much, the darkness is finally gone for now. I hope it stays at bay for awhile.

I decided to re-design my kitchen, that means I pretty much get rid of everything in my way, like the table we never use for anything other than a catch-all for junk. The table I constantly walk into and leaves me covered in bruises. Yes I'm a klutz, I trip over absolutely nothing all the time, so a big table taking up half the available space in the kitchen was starting to be a pain. So I'm redesigning, I'll take photos when I've got it all organized again, but I'm hoping this will make our lives easier, better, and me feel less trapped by clutter.

Sometimes I feel like the clutter is taking over, and I just need to start making space so I feel like I can breath again. And that means big changes in our house, which drives my husband nuts to the extreme. Wait until I start in on the living room! I'm already dreaming how I want to do it, but I may have to wait til he goes back to work so he doesn't kill me lol. But first I have to finish the kitchen hehe.

Grace hates sleeping in her room, says her room is too scary. I know I caused this problem, but it wasn't just my co-sleeping with her, it's also a matter of, until we moved in here she was always in our room. We had no choice, we only had two bedrooms in every past apartment. So she stayed in our room until we moved in here and tried to move her to her own room. I'm wondering if there is some way I can move her bed into my room, and just move the dressers from my room to her room. I'm gonna have to go measure things and see if it's doable. If I can get her to sleep in her bed in my room, maybe I can get her into her own room at some point.

Well I've done enough rambling for tonight, and the neuralgia is acting up this week, really bad (maybe all the rain, not sure), so the pain which is a constant 5/6 has been notching up to a 9 by bedtime. At least it's not a full alarm 10, those suck. Those are take a narcotic pain pills and go to bed bad. And if that doesn't help, or if I start throwing up, then it's an ER trip, and we know how I feel about those. I've also been waking earlier than necessary, like today I was up at 545 and couldn't fall back to sleep, and yesterday I was up at 645. I don't need to get up until 715-745 depending on how rushed I wanna feel.

Ok enough verbal diarrhea, and it can get bad if I just let it go. Sometimes I feel like I just need to keep talking and I will chat about anything and everything, no matter how asinine it is. And the rambling just continues tonight, doesn't it? See what I'm talking about? I get started on something and then it just keeps going. But the pain is starting to creep up so I really do need to sign off now.